


Oh Captain Not Hydra

by cobblestyles



Series: The merry Avengers [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Multi, also sam's pov because he's so fun, i'm still really angry at marvel, this is after civil war only not really, this is just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-11 00:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7014001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobblestyles/pseuds/cobblestyles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve finds out the comic book based on his life made him a secret Hydra agent for shock value. He is not pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh Captain Not Hydra

**Author's Note:**

> This is honestly very very small and I hope you appreciate it. It's canon compliant because I have no idea what's gonna happen after Civil War. Use of cuss words because the characters are angry and so am I. Enjoy!

“I’m a WHAT NOW?!”

Sam really is too tired for this. Steve yelling in the other room barely phases him now. He rubs his eyes, wondering what’s wrong now, considering they’re finally able to rest a little. Steve comes barging in, holding what looks like a comic book. Great. So that’s the reason he looks so angry. A fucking comic book.

“Have you seen this?” He asks, waving the book in his hands. It’s hard to see what the fuss is all about.  
“I would, but you keep moving it. Chill.”

Steve actually looks even more offended. Uh. Funny how Bucky is nowhere to be seen. This guy.

“Chill? CHILL? You’re asking me to chill? LOOK AT THIS!”

He finally gives the book to Sam -throws it, really- and puts his hands on his hips. Sam would laugh at how dramatic he looks, but now’s not the time, apparently. Sam looks at the page, expecting to see Steve nude on those pages (it happened once, and it was hilarious) but instead, he sees the most bullshitty thing he’s ever read in his life.

“They made you Hydra?!” Now he’s yelling too. “What the fuck, man?”

Steve throws his hands in the air as if to say “I told you so” and starts pacing. Sam hates that.

“I know! I was flattered that they’d write about me, even if I still don’t understand why, but this? This is an insult to everything I stand for! Why I joined the Army! Why I lost Buck-- he can’t see this!”

Sam agrees but also, it’s Bucky. He can’t resist.

“You’re totally right, he can’t. Yo, Barnes!”  
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Steve has huge eyes. Sam never noticed. He snickers a little. What? He’s allowed, okay. Bucky emerges from his room, looking a little lost (his usual look then) and just flops down on the couch, next to him. Sam understands Steve is like in love with the dude but seriously. He gets on his nerves. Sam hands him the comic book, to Steve’s horror, and waits for the blow. Steve just stares at Bucky, trying to read his mind, while Bucky just sits there, reading the page over and over. He looks up and surprisingly, starts laughing. He laughs and laughs until he doubles over, tears in his eyes. Sam wonders if he should call a doctor. This guy is nuts. Steve kneels down in front of him, putting a tentative hand on his head.

“Buck, are you okay?”  
“Oh man….” he hiccups, “secret Hydra agent. Give me a fucking break. Who would believe that shit? OH MAN” he hasn’t stopped laughing.  
“You….you’re not mad?” Steve glances at Sam, who’s trying to assess the quickest way out.  
“Why would I be mad? This isn’t you.”  
“Yeah I know but….you know what this means. It’s like….Like I knew...what they were doing to you. I just…”

He stands up abruptly, grabbing the book Bucky dropped while he was laughing like a maniac, and tears it in half. Actually tears it in half. Dramatic.

“You realise this isn’t the only copy, right?” Sam says, enjoying this a little too much. “Are you going to tear apart all the books? With your bare hands? Is that our next mission? Should we call in the Avengers?”

Sam knows he’s being a little shit but honestly. Watching Steve lose his stance? Doesn’t happen very often. Bucky is starting to calm down a bit, and he flexes his new metal arm (he insisted because it looked kind of cool. Go figure.). 

“Are we making teams again?” Bucky asks, smirking. “I don’t know if I could manage. Although that new arm feels stronger. I could help destroying maybe one hundred books?”

Sam snorts. So when he’s not an assassin or a moody super-soldier, the guy’s actually pretty fun. Good to know. Now he can see why Steve is friends with him. Poor Steve, who currently looks like he either wants to pounce on them or laugh. 

“You little shits. Fine. I know this is ridiculous but I’m really mad about this. Maybe Tony could stop the printing or even shut down the company for a while. It could work, right?”

Sam considers. It could work. Tony has enough money and power to shut down anything. Money, mostly. The guy’s rich as fuck. And Steve has a point. This new comic is offensive on so many levels, and Steve doesn’t deserve such disrespect.

“That’s settled then!” Steve exclaims, satisfied with his decision. “Let’s shut it down!”  
“Hell yeah!” Sam stands, high fiving Steve on the way to the kitchen.  
“You know,” Bucky says, approaching Steve, “I liked the other one better. When Steve Rogers took off his clothes. I thought it was really interesting.”

Steve blushes. Bucky still makes him feel like a sixteen year old kid.

“Yeah? Well, you certainly have good taste. I’m glad you didn’t forget that.”  
“You know, I think I need a reminder. Just to be sure.”

“GUYS! Could you at least wait until I’m gone?”

Sam is so tired. He should be the one sleeping for 90 years.


End file.
